Furthered verion of "Hell"

Serenity… Absolute stillness of all concerning matter. This perfect arrest of movement was conceived in a portion of a second, a very crucial second, in which an obvious mistake was made. Was I dead? It seemed that I was not; my soul felt no detention, for there was a vast spacious valley of pure and perfect white beheld in my eyes. Had I perhaps swooned and been made unconscious? No. This was all very real. I could feel with the tips of my fingers my face. This was no sleep induced vision, though highly peculiar. Eerie that in one blink of my eyes, the white valley could be brought before me in a mind-boggling manner, no doubt. But, no dream was this. Although, by my spectacle it was as close as one got to dream whilst remaining conscious. Neither sound passed by me, nor any sort of movement detectable.

In any instance of absolute uncertainty of the retention of ones own senses, one tests this sense in any easily accessible way possible. My thought was that I had become deaf, so in test of this hypothesis, a certain unthreatening muttering of the word “hello.” At this point an event happened that I had never forthright experienced. The oddity of it caused my mind to un-focus in swooning. At the utterance of the word, an immediate audible recognition was not made by my ears. Instead, the vocalization took a substantially lengthier amount of time to reach my ears, as if some one had called to me. I looked about and saw not one movement in the landscape; which, it seemed was an endless desert of perfect white. In retrying my previous test I found the result to be in almost every way the same except for this time, even though my projection was the exact same as the former, the way in which it reached my ears was differing in that I heard it to be twice as loud and in the same multiple long. By which I mean that the time in which it reached my ears was doubled. A not to be made of this is that, although my experience in this matter has until now been nil, I could tell when my vocalization was reaching my ear, as both times I anticipated it with precision. The seconds before it reached my ears, being roughly 2 the first and 4 the second, I could sense it’s rapid movement toward me, like I felt the sound waves advancement. This anticipation was not differing from the first or second test, as it seemed to remain constant.

Oh! Remorse, as I am now recollecting the events which befell in the former to this increasingly bazaar experience. “You’re just a notch in my blade’s handle, bitch!” I recited to the bound and bawling girl. And oh! Regretful me, my words were of a weak man, but my actions of an outright evil one. The blade, my blade, with twelve notches, and she being the thirteenth, I was a pig rapist and a black hearted killer. My adrenaline rushed and my heart fluttered and pounded in my chest as I studied the motion and effect of a thrusting penetrating blade. I was sick, and I loved the sound of muffled screams because of their moan like quality. But, now, my stomach sinks at remembrance of my volatile actions toward my now deceased captives.

But, now, my thoughts extend to examine the events that succeeded my new found place of existence. It’s apparent that I had died and become unto this eerie place, and my apathy in this matter surprised me. I can only assume the careless feeling I have for my own death is caused by my realization of how absolutely hateful a man I was in life. The matter of my death is a confusing one. My assumption is that I had been killed, but if this is the case, by who was I lead to my demise? It seemed that no amount of strain exerted by my mind devoted to the remembrance of my own death could lead to its recollection. And my search through memory was diluted by the distracting thoughts of my life’s pathetic and disgusting hobby.

As my mind tore itself apart looking for answers and finding only sick thoughts, it brought me to utter dismay. My eyes welled up with tears and I descended upon my knees. In my realizing that I was an irretrievable and lost soul I began to weep. The pain that befell me at an instant after the first tears poured from my ducts was excruciating. The flesh began to burn and itch, and it peeled from my face and left a line from the bottom of my eyes down to the point that it dripped from my chin. The line was a raw and bleeding gash. My tears had the effects observed of the strongest acid! Before my mind grasped this horror I clasped my hands to my face and cried out in pain. When I pulled my hands away they too were raw, and as I watched in absolute terror and awe, the flesh peeled to the bone. Then, interrupting the awful display of grotesque horror was a familiar anticipation. It had at that point, been roughly eight seconds since I cried out, and my cry then reached my ears and it was startlingly loud and frightened me, causing me to fall from my knees onto my back. I threw my hands instinctively backward to stay my fall and in an instant I realized that the white granules of this dessert were not, like I once thought, sand, but a huge amount of a salt-like substance. It burned thick and deep in my wounds. Again, as this pain was terrible, I cried out a long, loud expression of my agony. Immediately, I brought my hands up from the salty ground. It was then I realized that steadfast and vigilant, my scream was approaching twice as loud as the preceding yell that knocked me from kneeling erect.

I sat in silence for some moments, I don’t know how long, and it was to my surprise and joy that after a good amount of time, exceeding that of sixteen seconds, the possibly deafening scream never reached my ears. I rejoiced for this happening for a few splendid seconds, before turning my attention back to the wounds and giving thought toward what I could do to relieve the pain they caused me. At the exact moment that I ceased to rejoice for my previous and unexplained blessing, I anticipated the arrival of the lost sound. My heart fluttered and my eyes widened, I brought my wrists, at once, over my ears, as my hands were too pained. But when the, now positively deafening scream reached my ears, my covering of them did nothing to dampen its effect. I felt my ear drums burst, and it gave me a feeling like liquid filling my ear canals. I squeezed shut my eyes and held my tongue between my teeth to prevent screaming again in the nearly intolerable pain.